Hello Billionaire by Kelsie Hoss

This author was all over my Insta. I mean, they’re pushing her hard. I was intrigued by the premise. You know…plus-size, ordinary, every-day woman bags her billionaire boss. Farrah and Gage seemed likable enough when reading the synopsis. It’s a swing and a miss for me, though. 

First, a recently-divorced, single mom who has been out of the workforce for over a decade bags her dream job? An interior design job for a mega-money hotel with no real portfolio is just never going to happen. She has all of these contacts in the building and construction trades, and I just can’t figure out how in the world she would know all these people, having just relocated to a new city and without having worked in the industry. I know that the falling for the secretary/assistant thing is way overdone, but that’s all this lady is really qualified for, if that. 

Second, I really didn’t feel like these two had any chemistry at all. Gage is very monosyllabic when conversing with Farrah, and their conversations are stilted, but not in a way that lends to UST, just in an uncomfortable way. She brings the kids into the office and he immediately starts buying things for them. Like, in an over-the-top way. A somewhat creepy way, honestly. He has a lot of interest in the kids from the very start, without seeming to be interested in their mother at all. 

Finally, the scene where they hook up for the first time? Holy inappropriate-workplace-behavior Batman! Just…wow. I won’t get into the details, but it was not sexy, it was CRINGE. 

There are other issues; bizarre family dynamics, third-party POV that takes you out of the story, a subplot involving a shady politician… I could go on, but why bother?

There’s a whole series by this author, but I won’t be delving into any other entries. It’s a no for me, dog. 

Stars 0/5, Spice 2/5

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